God Has Receipts on Fake Pastors — Modern Paraphrase | nocap.bible
God Has Receipts on Fake Pastors.
Jeremiah 23 — God drops the hammer on every leader who played His people
11 min read
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Key Takeaways
The 'you ARE the burden' wordplay is the most savage divine clapback in the OT — they mocked God's word and He flipped their own phrase into a permanent eviction notice
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God says His word is fire and a hammer while the fake prophets' messages are literal straw — if it doesn't have weight, it's not from Him
False prophets were running an ancient toxic positivity hustle, telling everybody 'you're fine' while God's actual word was a whole storm brewing overhead
The Righteous Branch prophecy is lowkey one of the biggest Messianic mic drops in the OT — a King from David's line who will make the Exodus look like a side quest
God fired every corrupt leader in Judah and said He'd personally headhunt replacements who actually care about the flock
📢 Chapter 23 — Fake Shepherds Get Exposed ⚡
had been watching leaders run the nation into the ground for years. The kings were corrupt. The were lying. The were complicit. And God's people — the ones these leaders were supposed to protect and guide — were scattered, confused, and spiritually wrecked.
Now God has something to say directly to the people in charge. And it's not a gentle correction. It's a full indictment. What follows is one of the most devastating takedowns of corrupt spiritual leadership in all of — and a breathtaking of the King who will finally get it right.
Woe to the Fake Shepherds 🐑
God opens with a direct address to leaders — the kings and officials who were supposed to His people but instead destroyed them. In the ancient world, "shepherd" wasn't just a pastoral metaphor. Kings were literally called shepherds of their nations. And these shepherds had been the worst.
"Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture. You were supposed to care for my flock, but you drove them away. You didn't attend to them — so now I will attend to you for your evil. I will gather the remnant of my flock from every country where I scattered them and bring them home. They will be fruitful and multiply again. And I will raise up new shepherds who actually care for them — and they will never be afraid or missing again."
The language here is heavy. God isn't just disappointed — He's furious. The phrase "I will attend to you" is a wordplay in : you didn't attend to the sheep, so I will attend to you. Same word, opposite outcome. The leaders' negligence becomes their . But even in the middle of the rebuke, God pivots to — He will personally gather His scattered people and give them leaders worth following. ✨
The Righteous Branch 👑
After tearing down the corrupt leadership, God makes one of the most important in the Old Testament. A new King is coming — not from the line of failed rulers, but a Branch from line.
"The days are coming when I will raise up for David a righteous Branch. He will reign as king and deal wisely. He will execute Justice and Righteousness in the land. In his days, Judah will be saved and Israel will dwell securely. And this is the name he'll be called: 'The LORD is our righteousness.'"
"The days are coming when people won't even reference the Exodus anymore. They'll say, 'As the LORD lives who brought the house of Israel out of the north country and out of every nation where He scattered them.' They will dwell in their own land."
This is elite-tier prophecy. The "righteous Branch" points directly to the — a King from David's line who would rule with perfect and . The name "The LORD is our righteousness" is a direct contrast to King (whose name means "the LORD is my righteousness" but whose life was the opposite). God is saying: the real thing is coming, and He will actually live up to the name. The restoration will be so massive it will make the look like a side quest. 👑
Jeremiah Is Shook 💔
The tone shifts dramatically. stops relaying God's words and speaks from his own shattered heart. What he's witnessing among the and of has broken him.
"My heart is broken within me. All my bones shake. I'm like a man stumbling from wine — not because I've been drinking, but because of the LORD and His holy words. The land is full of unfaithfulness. Because of the curse, the land itself mourns. The pastures are dried up. The people's path is Evil, and their power is used for wrong."
Then God picks back up:
"Both Prophet and Priest are ungodly. Even in my own house I have found their evil. Their path will become slippery darkness — they'll be driven into it and fall. I will bring disaster on them in the year of their punishment."
Jeremiah isn't performing grief here. He's physically shaking. The weight of God's word hitting him while watching his own people reject it — that tension is tearing him apart. And God confirms: the corruption isn't just out in the culture. It's in the itself. The rot goes all the way to the top.
Jerusalem Is Worse Than Samaria 😤
God makes a devastating comparison. The of (the northern that had already been destroyed) were bad — they prophesied by and led astray. But prophets are somehow worse.
"In Samaria's prophets I saw something foul — they prophesied by Baal and led my people astray. But in Jerusalem's prophets I've seen something horrifying: they commit adultery, walk in lies, and strengthen the hands of evildoers so that no one turns from their evil. All of them have become like Sodom to me, and its people like Gomorrah."
"I will feed them bitter food and give them poisoned water to drink, because from Jerusalem's prophets, ungodliness has spread into the entire land."
The comparison is not casual. God is saying Jerusalem's religious leaders have become so corrupt that they're on the same level as the cities He destroyed with . And the worst part? They aren't just failing to call out — they're actively encouraging it. When the people who are supposed to say "turn back" are instead saying "you're fine," the entire nation rots from the inside out.
Don't Listen to Them 🚫
God now speaks directly to the people, warning them about the false message. This is one of the clearest descriptions in of what false actually looks like.
"Do not listen to the prophets who prophesy to you. They fill you with empty hope. They speak visions from their own imagination — not from my mouth. They keep telling people who despise my word, 'It's all good, you're fine.' And to everyone who stubbornly follows their own heart, they say, 'No disaster will come to you.'"
"But who among them has actually stood in my council? Who has heard my word and paid attention? Look — the storm of the LORD has gone out. A whirling tempest. It will crash down on the heads of the wicked. My anger will not turn back until I have accomplished everything I intend. In the latter days, you will understand this clearly."
"I did not send these prophets — yet they ran. I did not speak to them — yet they prophesied. If they had stood in my council, they would have proclaimed my actual words, and they would have turned people from their evil ways."
The false prophets' core strategy is telling people what they want to hear. "You're fine. God isn't mad. Nothing bad is coming." It's the ancient version of positivity — wrapping comfortable lies in spiritual language. Meanwhile, God says His actual word is a storm. It has weight. It has consequences. And anyone who had genuinely been in His presence would be delivering a radically different message. The real test of a Prophet isn't whether their words make you comfortable — it's whether their words make you change. ⚡
You Can't Hide From God 👁️
Two rhetorical questions that hit like a freight train. God's omnipresence means there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and no secret He doesn't see.
"Am I only a God who is nearby, and not a God who is far away? Can anyone hide in secret places where I cannot see them? Do I not fill Heaven and earth?"
This is aimed squarely at the false who operate like God isn't watching. They lie, they manipulate, they claim divine authority for their own words — as if God is distant or distracted. But God fills every corner of and earth. There is no back room, no private conversation, no hidden motive that escapes Him. He sees everything. No cap. 💯
Straw vs. Wheat 🔥
God has been listening to the false claim divine dreams, and He is done. This section is one of the most quotable passages in all of — God contrasting His word with the cheap knockoffs being passed around.
"I've heard what these prophets say — the ones who prophesy lies in my name, saying, 'I had a dream! I had a dream!' How long will this go on? How long will lies fill the hearts of these prophets who prophesy the deceit of their own hearts? They think they can make my people forget my name through their dreams — the same way their ancestors forgot my name for Baal."
"Let the prophet who has a dream tell his dream. But let the one who has my word speak it faithfully. What does straw have in common with wheat? Is not my word like fire, and like a hammer that breaks rock into pieces?"
"I am against the prophets who steal my words from each other. I am against the prophets who wag their own tongues and slap 'declares the LORD' on the end. I am against those who prophesy lying dreams and lead my people astray with their lies and their recklessness — when I never sent them or commissioned them. They do this people absolutely no good."
Three times God says " against." That repetition is devastating. These aren't subtle warnings — this is a direct declaration of divine opposition. And the straw-versus-wheat imagery is : human opinions and made-up dreams are straw — lightweight, useless, and burnable. God's actual word is fire and a hammer. It transforms. It breaks through. If the message you're hearing doesn't have weight, doesn't challenge you, doesn't break something open — ask yourself whether it's wheat or straw.
You Are the Burden 🎤
The chapter ends with a devastating wordplay. In , the word massa means both "burden" (a heavy message) and "oracle/utterance." The people and false kept asking , "What is the burden of the LORD?" — essentially mocking him by asking for God's latest heavy word. God's response is savage.
"When someone asks you, 'What is the burden of the LORD?' — you tell them: 'YOU are the burden, and I will cast you off,' declares the LORD."
"Anyone — prophet, priest, or regular person — who says 'the burden of the LORD,' I will punish them and their household. Instead, ask each other: 'What has the LORD answered?' or 'What has the LORD spoken?' But stop using the phrase 'the burden of the LORD,' because the real burden is each person's own word — and you are twisting the words of the living God."
"If you keep saying 'the burden of the LORD' after I told you to stop — I will lift you up and throw you out of my presence, along with the city I gave you and your ancestors. I will bring on you everlasting disgrace and permanent shame that will never be forgotten."
God takes their mocking phrase and flips it on them. "You want to know the burden? Look in the mirror." They've been treating God's word like content to consume and critique. They've been slapping God's name on their own opinions. And God says: that's not just annoying — it's perverting the words of the living God. The consequence isn't a slap on the wrist. It's from His presence. Permanently. The chapter that began with God promising to gather His ends with the sobering reality that not everyone will be part of that gathering. Some will be cast away — and the will never fade.